Blitz massaged his temples, regretting last night’s decision to get utterly plastered. He was sporting a massive headache and a stomach ache as well. Getting drunk didn’t change anything about his current situation: he was a businessman who had lost his partner in both work and bed, he had a new way to access the living realm, and Stolas didn’t want to see him at all. So much had happened over the last several days, Blitz was dizzy.
“Ugh.” The sound was somewhat muffled by Blitz burying his face in his desk. “Why am I alive?”
“Blitz, you okay? You sound like you’re dying.” Moxxie had poked his head into the office while Blitz was hating last night’s Blitz.
“I got too drunk trying not to think of…him and now I’m dealing with a bitch of a hangover.” He started heaving into a trash can he had nearby, not noticing Moxxie’s face scrunch up with sympathy.
“Oh, I’m sorry, sir.”
“Why the f*ck does it hurt so much??”
“You love him and he did something that hurt you,” Moxxie replied. “After what he did, you’re allowed to hurt. Sure, he gave you an Asmodean crystal which saved IMP but he cut you off without another word. You need to work through the pain and find something worth living for.”
“...maybe.”
****
Blitz stared blankly at the office wall after Moxxie left for several minutes before shaking his head to clear it. In the past, Blitz had lived for his family. When that fell apart, he lived for his lovers. Now, no lover, all he had was Loona and IMP and he was becoming well aware of how suffocating he was to them. He needed something else. But what?
****
He walked into the office reluctantly. He didn’t want to be here, Heaven, he’d rather be just about anywhere else but he also knew that while his therapist was blunt and apparently an ex murderer, he gave good advice.
“Blitz. Two sessions in a row, huh? You really are committed to this healing process.” Dr. Azrael said as he shut the door behind them both.
“Yeah, well, if I die from depression, who will keep my business from dying? Or protect the ones I love?”
“Someone might step up but there are no guarantees. Whatever your reason for seeking therapy, I’m glad you are. So, what brings you today?”
“I realized recently that I only live for others. I live for my family, chosen and blood, I live for my lovers. f*ck, I sleep on the couch of our one bedroom so Loony has a bed and privacy. I hurt Fizz with my efforts to celebrate him, I gave Verosika so much until I snapped, I told Stolas things in the hazy nights I never told anyone else and he cast me aside.” Tears leaked out of Blitz’s eyes as he stared down at his hands.
“So, what do you want?”
“I want to have a f*cking healthy, non destructive relationship for once.”
“You’re codependent. You don’t feel whole unless you have someone who loves you and who you can love in return. You need to change your behavior before you can have a relationship with Stolas.” At Blitz’s spluttering, Dr. Azrael raised a hand. “You love him deeply and you want a fresh start. I don’t blame you and I won’t discourage you but you have to work on yourself first.”
“That sounds difficult.”
“It is but I think you’ll find the end result worth it. I’ll be here to guide you but you’ll have to do the heavy lifting yourself.”
“Okay. What do I have to do? Other than keep coming here.”
****
“So, Moxxie, Millie, you’re probably wondering why I called you here right now. In therapy, it was brought to my attention that I’m codependent and to help deal with this, I need to set boundaries.”
Millie spoke eagerly, practically vibrating with excitement. “Did you bring us here to discuss new boundaries, Blitz?”
“Ummm, no. I don’t know how to set boundaries,” he admitted begrudgingly. “I was hoping you could help me? I have no clue what I’m doing.”
“Gladly, sir. I’m proud to see you taking some initiative for your mental health for once.” Moxxie said. “Now, what exactly has you confused?”
“...just about f*cking everything.”
“Okay then, the basics it is then. First step is to choose something simple that you don’t want to happen to you. You tell people ‘this is a boundary.’ Then you figure out what a suitable consequence is for breaking that boundary.”
“Huh.”
“Maybe an example would be helpful, sweetie,” Millie said, looking at Blitz’s confused face. “For example, I didn’t like it when Sallie Mae kept stealing my clothes. I told her no multiple times and when she didn’t listen I physically fought with her. Hopefully, you won’t have to fight it out to be respected.”
Blitz stared at her with a strange expression. He was thinking things over, obviously, but the strange part was that he let it show on his face.
“Okay, I think I have an idea on what to do now. But first,” Blitz swallowed and his tail swished behind him nervously. “I’m sorry to both of you for trying to force myself into your lives. I wanted affection and companionship. Can you forgive me?”
Millie nodded with a radiant smile. Moxxie looked him over. “I may have been more annoyed than Millie with the whole situation but I accept your apology, sir. Please don’t try it again.”
“That’s…better than I was expecting.”
“You’re really putting in the effort.”
“Mox, I figured out what to live for.”
“What?”
“My chosen family. Loona, Millie, you. Even Stolas if he ever wants me back in his life.”
“Sir, that’s not what I meant!”
“I know but right now it’s all I can live for.” As Moxxie looked concerned, Blitz added on. “I’m sure I’ll find something else but right now you guys are all I have. I’ll respect your boundaries and everything but I need to invest my affections in someone without Stolas in my life.” While he smiled as he spoke, the tone of his voice was despondent. It was clear he didn’t think he’d find something else.
